Life After Suboxone
Life after suboxone:
This has been a long overdue post. It's been over 2 1/2+ years for me that I have been off of suboxone.... Big deal right? The thing is that those 2 1/2+ years that I was on it, it totally changed my life. I got all my shit back in order, didn't have to stress about "I am down to 10 vicodins or X amount of oxycontins before I run out (which when I was that low, I was counting down minutes to Zero Hour)..better start making those calls now to get more and I hope someone comes thru".
The financial factor that was involved took a big toll. I was lucky when it came to the financial factor for most (not all) of the time I was on the pills. I had an inside line with the inventory manager of a pharmacy. Though I was charged (on the side...sometimes)...if I didn't pay up, my annoying phone calls and personality or pleading always got me my way. By the time my bill got really up there, it would be my birthday, or Christmas or what ever and I was always given a pass (yes it was a friend of mine who at the time felt that maybe he/she was to blame for getting me in that deep or adding to the problem).
Well that wasn't such a positive start to my post. Focusing in on the bottom line. If you're on suboxone, from my experience and 1000's of e-mails I have recieved (not being arrogant on the "1,000's of e-mails, just letting you know I read everyone and get my opinion that I voice here from them and my personal views), you are on it cause you want to be on it. It is natural to be afraid of the great unknown, of the life without "feeling normal"... The feeling normal is how WE, with this problem see it.
The biggest thing you have to keep in mind is take your time if you are on it. I was nervous about getting off it for all of the following reasons: (even though I knew 99.9% that I was ready to get off it, that .1% factor freaked me the FUCK out!).
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Am I really ready?
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Am I going to go thru 3-4 months of NO emotion, NO drive,...or just the feeling of "NOTHING" which will cause me to.....using more of a pharmaceutical term "re-evaluate my discontinuation syndrome".
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Will I be happy again?
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Am I going to withdrawal from all the activities that are now back in my life.
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Question: "Why f**k with something if it isn't broken? I'm great, I feel great, I'm (technically) healthy and functioning physically at 100%...my personality is great, all my friends and family like me again... IS IT WORTH IT, WORTH throwing away all of these positive influences and lifestyles that I have now re-gained"?
If you're reading this, you don't have to comment on alot, but do me a favor... Let me know what you have questioned or are questioning. (I don't put up any ads on this site, I don't make money off of this site cause this site is personal to me and to you... I'm swamped running my own deal... I have never asked for anything before, but let me know what's on your mind or what you have questioned both before and if after).
To cover right off the bat, what I am sure you are wondering:
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It took me a good 3-4 months to feel truly myself again.
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NO, I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE SHIT THE WHOLE TIME and I am NOT saying I went thru 3-4 months of withdrawals. Just takes time TO BE NORMAL AGAIN . Keep in mind, your brain has to heal, has to get rebalanced and so on.
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It did take me about 1 month to get over the withdrawals. (In my suboxone 101 post, I said I started seeing the light at day like 12 or so (plus tack on 3 days of feeling no withdrawals cause of the half life so really it was day 15)... Seeing the light and living in a constant state of shit was 2 completely seperate things and any improvement was a good one). Again, bottom line and really looking back on it with clearity, it was day 25 before I could think clearly without straining myself.
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After 3 months I would catch myself in a state of "wonder" as I realized I laughing at shit...simple jokes, old stories etc... I was working again (I have my own businesses, which took A HUGE hit during this down time), I was being creative again, I was wanting to "DO THINGS AGAIN, with passion and with drive".
The biggest thing I have noticed looking back on this time of just being free. I am, and I can say this with 100% certaintity and with the past 2 1/2+ years under my belt...just not interested in anything to do with opiates. I have hurt myself (since I ride / drive off-road and just do stupid shit at times) and tylenol is the just of my pain relief. I had a route cannal done...doctor offered me vicodin...(new dentist) "thanks but I am allergic to them". My girlfriend has had vicodin in the house; she has always backed me and been there for me 1000%, but has seemed to forget about my past, cause that is what it is to me, my past. I have not...sense I have gotten my life back on track looked at opiates or opiate medications any different than I look at a vitamin pack. I only write about it now cause I look back on it in retrospect. I still have probably (cause I have not counted them) 20 or 30 8mg suboxone in the house... I have found them on accident 3 times over the past few years (my girlfriend hid them on like d-day minus 7 and distributed them out to me so I would fuck up my last days before I jumped off them)... Why don't I just toss them? Cause again, I just don't think about it, or you know...maybe I do...and it just makes me stronger cause I know I just don't give a shit about them.
In the end... There is life after suboxone or really the opiate addiction. Suboxone is just a great tool to "pause" the situation at hand. The problem is...it is that easy to just hit pause and keep it at that state. I don't knock anyone who takes suboxone long term...in the end you feel the same...normal.... For me though, I am the master of my own life and that is how I am going to keep it.
Please, if you are questioning anything....before you jump...after you have jumped....or if you are going thru this whole phase of getting better.... Post your thoughts, your questions that you ask yourself; I can't keep up with the e-mails and ALL of you who post on this site are doing a great thing for someone else. You are giving others hope.
Brian SuboxoneTaper.com
Tags: After Suboxone, After Suboxone Withdrawal, Suboxone Facts, Suboxone Taper
Comments (211)
Me, my boyfriend, and my brother all have been on subs about 3 1/2 yrs. My boyfriend and I met each other during our addiction and when we got together it went way down hill. We went from blues to heroin pretty quickly, not to mention he also received a very large settlement from getting hit by an 18 wheeler on the highway. After the settlement we started shooting massive amounts of heroin and after getting as high as you possibly can it started to get old and to the point where we werent even getting those good rushes anymore so we decided to quit. We went to separate houses so we wouldn’t give in to each other and I lasted about 4 days (coming off xannax too) before I started hullucinating and delerious and decided to see a doctor for suboxone. He didn’t want to get addicted to another drug and suprisingly he lasted about 4 weeks until he relapsed because the withdrawls were still so horrible… then he decided to get on suboxone. I honestly have no idea how either of us even made it past 24hrs. My brother at about the same time got on suboxone as well. 3 1/2 yrs later my boyfriend and I are doing great in our sobriety but we’re ready to move on with our lives… I’m down to 6mg/day and he’s at 4mg/day. My brother on the other hand did not follow the program correctly and had some relapses in between, he’s also taking aderol and seroquel, which was making him very all over the place and not acting normal. We couldn’t tell if he was getting high or if it was really just the meds making him that way. He recently came out of his funk and decided he wanted to get off of everything but when he tried to taper (from 16mg/day) he had a really hard time. My mom did some research and found this rapid detox place in michigan where they put you under for an hour and inject you with naltrexone (not to be confused with naloxone). Well he just flew back home from there today and is still suffering some withdrawls (mainly anxiety withdrawls… not puking). Now my Mom and the rest of the family wants me to go there, and put out $9000 for the treatment. To me its silly though, to pay that much money that I’ve worked very hard to save these past 3 years, and to still have to suffer withdrawls symptoms for up to 2 weeks, I mine as well just stay home and do it myself for free. I guess the only advantage of the naltrexone is that it does heal your receptor sites, helps with cravings, and there is absolutely no withdrawl from it so you can stop whenever you want. I don’t know what to do… I was very confident about tapering down myself until I started reading all these horror stories. Dont get me wrong, I do know people in my group (required to attend by sub doctor) who have gotten off suboxone completely with hardly any withdrawls or anxiety, so it is possible, but I’m really worried about it now. I really want to get off this stuff because It is causing me some health issues with my body, and my boyfriend and I have been talking about havings kids also. One more thing… i used to be a really bad benzo addict and beacause of that I already have very bad anxiety so I am SUPER worried about how bad my anxiety will be coming off the Subs, and I cant really take valium, xannax, or clonopin without getting hooked, so thats one of my main concerns. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated :)
Ive been gettin suboxone now for 5 months going on 6. I want to stop. I take 8mg a day. well I did. Im down to 4mg now. Does anyone have any advice for me? do you think it will be hard for me since it has only been about 6 months. I cant afford them. But I have to make myself get up and go to work everyday. I just feel normal wen i take one
Hi everyone! My heart goes out to all of you trying to get off sub. Justin- that is crazy, can you get a better sub doc? My first one was a sham too. It was give me your check and you get your script. My second doc was a true blessing. He enforced drug tests, aa/NA attendance and checked the pharmacy databases on all his patients. And most importantly, the goal wad to come off them. I didn’t like all that at first, but it saved me. he gave me clonidine (blood pressure med) phenergren (antihistamine) Requip (restless legs) and trazodone (sleep). It sucked!!! But it sucked less you know. Good luck everyone!! 7/4/2011 last sub
Well Said KIM,,, And oh sooo true!!!
Hello,
My sub withdrawal was difficult, I jumped off at 2 mg after being on them for 5 years. Omg, the first month was uncomfortable, terrible restless leg syndrome, use hylands for this symptom it saved my life. I started march 1, 2012 and it is now may 10, 2012. I still feel lethargic, and spacey but it is much better. If your asking yourself should I do it the answer is yes, yes, yes. But, I caution you, there is no way you can go to work during the first month, the detox is just to hard. Yes, you will feel pretty crappy, but you can have your life back. I can barely take an aspirin at this point. I was on vi Odin and percocet for 10 years before the subs. I wish I dealt with the percocet withdrawal, cause suboxene withdrawal to me was no joke. I am still feeling the effects. This is a deep dark world the medical community has put us into. If you want to get off suboxene try to Wien down lower than 2mgs I think that was the reason I had such a tough time of it. I have since realized that I thought I was ok but I was really high and making terrible decisions. Everybody who is reading this do the best you can to get this s$&) out of your life. I wish all that are suffering to stop wasting time and do it. Yes, it’s hard but the best thing I’ve ever done. Take my advice and take a month off. There just isn’t any other way. I wish you all the best. Go get um!!!!!!!
Hey guys,
Suboxone is not to be taken lightly. I was on the medication for over 2 years before I started coming off of it. I started at 8mg 2 x day and I would move down 2 mg a week which was easier than you would think until I got to 2mg. I did have leg and foot cramps, my shoulders hurt, and headaches but I wanted off. I worked my way down after being on 2mg for a couple of months I moved down .25mg a day every 4 or 5 days. Once i got down to .25 per day I still couldn’t go 3 days without so I improvised. I took a brand new visine bottle and washed it out good. I added 5ml of water and 2mg of a strip of suboxone. After mixing I put the bottle in the ice box. There were right at 100 drops in the bottle so I started with 8 drops per day and every 4 days I moved down 1 drop. It took me a while but no real bad withdrawals, a little sneezing and low energy but once I got down to 4 drops a day I started missing a day between drops. So however it worked for me just thought I would share. Good luck, Terry
Hey guys,
Suboxone is not to be taken lightly. I was on the medication for over 2 years before I started coming off of it. I started at 8mg 2 x day and I would move down 2 mg a week which was easier than you would think until I got to 2mg. I did have leg and foot cramps, my shoulders hurt, and headaches but I wanted off. I worked my way down after being on 2mg for a couple of months I moved down .25mg every 4 or 5 days. Once i got down to .25 per day I still couldn’t go 3 days without so I improvised. I took a brand new visine bottle and washed it out good. I added 5ml of water and 2mg of a strip of suboxone. After mixing I put the bottle in the ice box. There were right at 100 drops in the bottle so I started with 8 drops per day and every 4 days I moved down 1 drop. It took me a while but no real bad withdrawals, a little sneezing and low energy but once I got down to 4 drops a day I started missing a day between drops. So however it worked for me just thought I would share. Good luck, Terry
Thats cool alot of people are still hitting this page up, i know its been here for a little bit!
Anyway ive been on Subs for almost 3yrs, just like the guy that started this blog. The sad thing is i started sub after being on opiates for only about 1 1/2 years. I checked myself into rehab and the docs there suggested i go to a suboxone doc (hmm a bit fishy) Anyway he gave me way to high a dose for my exp. with opiates and have been slowly weening down, and am now at a little under 2mg(of the strips). Sub has both stabilized my life and ruined it in many aspects. I dont drink, go out much, or have a social life. Its like when i started sub i just hit the pause button on my life. Im planning on getting off this summer but i am scared to death. My a**hole doc wont give me anything to help with w/d’s even though he charges me 300$ a month and drug tests me (always clean except a few mj positives). If anyone wants to chat with me about sub please email me loserdub@gmail.com
I guess its a little more difficult when no one understands what the whole sub thing is about P.S if anyone has a good taper sched let me know!
Anyone ever feel sick while taking this crap? I feel like death and cant eat enough….
I have one suboxone left, and i now am realising that i need to quit because my boyfriend is telling me that since over the past six months that drinking and doing suboxone in combination has affected my life greatly; i am terrified of not doing it anymore because i feel like i mentally can not handle it; but with him telling me that being on suboxone makes me “sparatic” and that my thoughts are askew; ill be talking about one thing and then go clean or something; i dont have a prescription nor do i know how to get one i have one and a half subs left.. and i have to figure out a way to wean myself off of this so i wont have to go through hell, im terrfired and nervous and almost wish i could just go to the hospital and be put under anesthsia and go into rapid detox and come out swinging.. im not sure how i can do this on m y own i need to quit subs get a better job, get my ged, get my license and how am i supposed to improve myself if i am going to have months of misery and discomfort. i just wish there was an answer for me to my problem. i now i dont want to have the worries of if i run out ; but i like the comfort suboxone gives me; im terrfired of this.
Pamela- First of all your doctor obviously doesn’t know jack about suboxone and what its like to get off of it. I know this, because my doctor said the same thing. Its a “designer” drug and maybe you need counseling, is what I was told. No doc, what I need is to not feel like complete shit when coming off of the subs? So, this is my advice to you. I think you need to talk to your boyfriend. I finally told my gf I was on subs after 3 years. And she had no clue. I was freaking out, but I told her everything. And she now stands behind me and supports me, even though she is the biggest anti-drug person I’ve ever met. The reason I say that you need to tell him, is because you’re going to need his support. Will he give that to you?? I also suggest getting off the subs while you’re not working. It will be so much easier without the stress of work. I took 2 wk’s off to detox, and then jumped right back in. But if I could take more time off I personally would. But don’t get me wrong, Im on day 19 and I feel waaay better than I did during week 1. Also, if you can taper down to nearly nothing it will help the entire process, by speeding it up. Your body adjusts to the lower dose, will you have wd still, yes. Is it still going to suck? Yes, but it doesn’t have to be that bad. Plus I truly believe that some other things can be done to make the situation better. Eating healthy and lots of protein is good for the brain. Drink lots of water. I had Clonadine prescribed to me for the chills and sweats, and a sleeping medication to help me get through the nights.. Does any of this sound helpful? I wish you the best. -S