Life After Suboxone
Life after suboxone:
This has been a long overdue post. It's been over 2 1/2+ years for me that I have been off of suboxone.... Big deal right? The thing is that those 2 1/2+ years that I was on it, it totally changed my life. I got all my shit back in order, didn't have to stress about "I am down to 10 vicodins or X amount of oxycontins before I run out (which when I was that low, I was counting down minutes to Zero Hour)..better start making those calls now to get more and I hope someone comes thru".
The financial factor that was involved took a big toll. I was lucky when it came to the financial factor for most (not all) of the time I was on the pills. I had an inside line with the inventory manager of a pharmacy. Though I was charged (on the side...sometimes)...if I didn't pay up, my annoying phone calls and personality or pleading always got me my way. By the time my bill got really up there, it would be my birthday, or Christmas or what ever and I was always given a pass (yes it was a friend of mine who at the time felt that maybe he/she was to blame for getting me in that deep or adding to the problem).
Well that wasn't such a positive start to my post. Focusing in on the bottom line. If you're on suboxone, from my experience and 1000's of e-mails I have recieved (not being arrogant on the "1,000's of e-mails, just letting you know I read everyone and get my opinion that I voice here from them and my personal views), you are on it cause you want to be on it. It is natural to be afraid of the great unknown, of the life without "feeling normal"... The feeling normal is how WE, with this problem see it.
The biggest thing you have to keep in mind is take your time if you are on it. I was nervous about getting off it for all of the following reasons: (even though I knew 99.9% that I was ready to get off it, that .1% factor freaked me the FUCK out!).
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Am I really ready?
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Am I going to go thru 3-4 months of NO emotion, NO drive,...or just the feeling of "NOTHING" which will cause me to.....using more of a pharmaceutical term "re-evaluate my discontinuation syndrome".
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Will I be happy again?
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Am I going to withdrawal from all the activities that are now back in my life.
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Question: "Why f**k with something if it isn't broken? I'm great, I feel great, I'm (technically) healthy and functioning physically at 100%...my personality is great, all my friends and family like me again... IS IT WORTH IT, WORTH throwing away all of these positive influences and lifestyles that I have now re-gained"?
If you're reading this, you don't have to comment on alot, but do me a favor... Let me know what you have questioned or are questioning. (I don't put up any ads on this site, I don't make money off of this site cause this site is personal to me and to you... I'm swamped running my own deal... I have never asked for anything before, but let me know what's on your mind or what you have questioned both before and if after).
To cover right off the bat, what I am sure you are wondering:
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It took me a good 3-4 months to feel truly myself again.
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NO, I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE SHIT THE WHOLE TIME and I am NOT saying I went thru 3-4 months of withdrawals. Just takes time TO BE NORMAL AGAIN . Keep in mind, your brain has to heal, has to get rebalanced and so on.
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It did take me about 1 month to get over the withdrawals. (In my suboxone 101 post, I said I started seeing the light at day like 12 or so (plus tack on 3 days of feeling no withdrawals cause of the half life so really it was day 15)... Seeing the light and living in a constant state of shit was 2 completely seperate things and any improvement was a good one). Again, bottom line and really looking back on it with clearity, it was day 25 before I could think clearly without straining myself.
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After 3 months I would catch myself in a state of "wonder" as I realized I laughing at shit...simple jokes, old stories etc... I was working again (I have my own businesses, which took A HUGE hit during this down time), I was being creative again, I was wanting to "DO THINGS AGAIN, with passion and with drive".
The biggest thing I have noticed looking back on this time of just being free. I am, and I can say this with 100% certaintity and with the past 2 1/2+ years under my belt...just not interested in anything to do with opiates. I have hurt myself (since I ride / drive off-road and just do stupid shit at times) and tylenol is the just of my pain relief. I had a route cannal done...doctor offered me vicodin...(new dentist) "thanks but I am allergic to them". My girlfriend has had vicodin in the house; she has always backed me and been there for me 1000%, but has seemed to forget about my past, cause that is what it is to me, my past. I have not...sense I have gotten my life back on track looked at opiates or opiate medications any different than I look at a vitamin pack. I only write about it now cause I look back on it in retrospect. I still have probably (cause I have not counted them) 20 or 30 8mg suboxone in the house... I have found them on accident 3 times over the past few years (my girlfriend hid them on like d-day minus 7 and distributed them out to me so I would fuck up my last days before I jumped off them)... Why don't I just toss them? Cause again, I just don't think about it, or you know...maybe I do...and it just makes me stronger cause I know I just don't give a shit about them.
In the end... There is life after suboxone or really the opiate addiction. Suboxone is just a great tool to "pause" the situation at hand. The problem is...it is that easy to just hit pause and keep it at that state. I don't knock anyone who takes suboxone long term...in the end you feel the same...normal.... For me though, I am the master of my own life and that is how I am going to keep it.
Please, if you are questioning anything....before you jump...after you have jumped....or if you are going thru this whole phase of getting better.... Post your thoughts, your questions that you ask yourself; I can't keep up with the e-mails and ALL of you who post on this site are doing a great thing for someone else. You are giving others hope.
Brian SuboxoneTaper.com
Tags: After Suboxone, After Suboxone Withdrawal, Suboxone Facts, Suboxone Taper
Comments (211)
Thanks for all the posts.
I was on vicodons/percs/oxy for about 3-4 years. Needed help, saw a doc who without really discussing anything with me, put me on suboxone. Life was great, although I did “relapse” a few times. I got so sick of it, I finLly decided to get it out of my body. I tapered slowly, to the point where I would put 1 mg in my mouth then spit it out.
Anyway here’s my question/concern. I switched doctors Nd really like my new one. He prescribed klonopin, clonidine. Ok so the first week sucked. Then I had all this stuff to do, so started taking vivanse and adderall. So now what?? I still have the duality of wanting annialation then wanting normalcy. I obviously have anxiety issues. I’m afraid of benzo withdrawal (add that to the mix I’ve been taking Xanax for years).
I guess my concern is about the amphetamines. They are seriously helping right now, but I know it has to be short term or I’m screwed. Anyone else use this to get off suboxone?
Thanks!
I told myself and God I would come back to this site and report if I had anything good to say. I am off Suboxone for about 6 months. I feel so much better now. I was scarred shitless during the taper with depression and anxiety because I never thought I’d be able to do it. I was armed with a pharmacy of comfort drugs, a small support system, and sick days to fall back on. Never happened. Please taper and you’ll be OK. I am still waiting for the bomb to drop. Having been on it more than 4 years at extremely high doses, I thought I was F—–! Not true. I do recommend motrin, Anti-diareheal otc pills, and vivinace med for ADD. to off set the total exhaustion and depression. I lost No work. I am not saying it was painfree, but manageable. And at that time, that was hope. Yes I still love my wine but I am ok.
Good luck to you. Eat, pray, and have good sex. love me
Hello well here’s my story I am 21 from an island that’s flooded with oxycodone 30mg I been snorting them for about a yr and jumped on suboxone for about a month because I don’t want to live life as a zombie anymore I tapered myself down from the first day I started I was on about between .50 to .25 not sure was cutting tiny pieces off I ran out of the sub and looked to get more but I said fuck it I want to live a drug free life so its been about 7 days no subs not in bad pain mostly comes and goes I’ve been sneezing a lot and have painful legs and lower back pain but its not that bad I’ve been sticking it out I really mostly been depressed having suicidal visions but I love my life too much just to end it like that but I just want this to end I’m 21 come on I gotta live life at this age not feel like shit all the time anything would help even just talking please from your personal experience how long will it take for my brain to heal and feel better thank you James
I was on long-term maintenance of suboxone or subutex for 7 years and have now been off it for 9 days.
And I was wondering if anyone know how long it takes before you can sleep again. Because the insomnia wears me out.
Good to know I’m not the only one. Had I known it would be this bad coming off of suboxone, I would have never got on in the first place. But I did, and now I’m on day 3 of withdrawals after being on for 7 months.
My advice to everyone: taper SLOW. I cut down to 4 mg after 4 months, then slowly worked my way down to 0.5 mg, which I took for two weeks, before finally stopping. I would have done a longer taper had I not registered for classes that are starting next week. I was semi-sick that entire time I was tapering, and I probably wouldn’t have been able to do it if I didn’t have people with me to help ration my dose, but I got thru it. And now, even in the worst of the withdrawals, I don’t want to go back on. I’m ready for this to be over. Might as well do it now.
So today is the start of day two…or at least thats how im looking at it. My last does was 1mg. at around 4:00 pm, friday,7/23/11. Really concerned about what i’m going to have to go through. I suppose i should preface all this with i have no suboxones left. I’ve been on them for closer to 3 years than 2 1/2. I’ve been down the cold turkey rehab road once before years ago, from oc’s, and can remember what those withdrawals were like. Then had a slip like most do, except my slip lasted a year, which i graduated to H. Stopped that, went through 4-5 days of withdrawals before the suboxone kicked in, and on day 6 i was fine, at 16 mg. Took the 16mg for that one day, then cut it to 8 as 16 made me feel almost high. So for the past 2 1/2 – 3 years i’ve dropped from 8 to 3. It is such a pain in the ass for me to make an appointment to see my doctor, as he is one of those doctors that doesn’t really give a shit, takes fives minutes, and i walk out with another 5- 6 month script. So this last time when it came to making an appointment, i said forget it. i usually have to make one over a month in advance. I’m going to be a father come february and DO NOT want to have to deal with anything like withdrawals with a new born around, nor do i want to put it off any more whilst my fiancee just gets more pregnant and needs more help. So, i’m done….i think.
As i said i’m on the start of day two, and unlike a lot of what i’ve read, i’m starting to withdrawal. i’ve got some aches, shakes, restlessness, and obviously by the what time it is (4:15 am) im not sleeping. i felt fine all day, up until around 8:00 pm. since then it seems to be coming in waves, just not even waves. what i mean is that the time of feeling normal lasts about 20 min, but i have to wait an hour or more for the next wave of normalcy shows up. I think because i have no choice but to continue with whatever is headed my way, i’m able to put more of a positive spin on whats going on in my mind. Any thoughts as to whats coming for me??
forgot to tell you, i’ve been taking subox for 21/2 years!
damn, i feel like a freak! my doc. has me doing 32 mgs daily. i have not told him but i have tapered down to 16 mgs a day. i have a calendar, tapering 1 quarter every 2 weeks. they say stay on the dose until your body is comfortable with it , then bump another quarter again. but it looks like the big thing is going off the 2mgs. i came off methodone and it was the worse thing i have ever been through. i was thinking when i go off the 2 mgs, i would to perks to make it though the subox withdraws? crazy i know, but should’nt the perks make it better?
Man if we all only knew , I am 53 bad mc accident in 2000 lucky to be alive anyway you guys know the drill all the bs that gets you to suboxone but what I cant figure out is why the docs dont tell us whats up with this drug I have kicked ms cotin pers ect on my own while on doctors care ( thats another story) but suboxone I was on it for just about three years thought my health care was up doc says jump, true from 16 to 12 to 8 even to 4 for me was no big deal but jumping from 2 wow its day 47 now still feel like shit this is a good drug got my mind right but fuck Iam scared of an advil now So we will all get thru it it is a crutch and I know you dont think right on this drug just a sheep showin up to the wolf in the docs office time to step up to the diving board and jump off AND I HAD A GOOD SUB DOC I will leave you with this he told me in the beginning your body will tell you if your going ( tapering) to fast listen to it
I’m about to experience suboxon , i have been addicted to methedone for a while now . I was takin about four 10mg pills a day. I just realized that i cant do thhis anymore , its hurting my family and me . Im goin to see doc tomarrow i’m scared about whole situation , expecially the withdrawles . But i do know im a strong person and i can get threw this , with family support!!!! Its interesting to read what other people are going threw and i hope for the best , I would give anything to feel normal again and if i would of know what pills did to you i would of never touched them . before i new it they had me hooked. For the longest time i hid it from my boyfriend , dont task me how he didnt know , i hid it well except when i had no way to explain where my money was going lol! I finally broke down the other day and told him as i cryed my eyes out , he did some reaserch on people addicted to pills and he was so scared of consequences im about to go threw that it made him cry his eyes out , He said to me we are in this together so i have more faith in my recovery !!!!! I hope comimg of is as easy as gettin on will just have to see i guess !!!!!!!!!!!!
brother im fighting with everything i got whats left anyway this shit has to be over one way or another i just cant take it nomore im fuckin DONE LETTING OTHER PEOPLE AND THIS SHIT CONTROL MY EVERY MOVE. i have no fucking life. i know i can do this but can my body handle it thats the million dollar ? it dont get easier though the longer you wait to handle it , it gets harder. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO MYSELF. GOD PRAY FOR ME AND FORGIVE ME. MY LAST 10 YEARS HAS BEEN A FUCKIN NIGHTMARE this is so ridiculous that something that was spossed to help me has destroyed my life I WANT IT BACK NOW AND I MEAN NOW. this is the hardest thing im ever gonna go through in my life and i know it and if i make it i know there will never be nothing in my life i will not be able to handle cause it takes a strong person to do this shit and im not that strong but ima fake it till i make this time ill cry all the way through it if i have to but one day ill be able god willing to wipe the tears away pickl myself up and find out who me and my family are again cause god knows i dont know them and they dont know me and i dont know me. im forever a changed man and for this brief moment if i dont die trying to beat this i injoy the few seconds i get briefly when my brain gives me that glimpse of reality and emotion again. its so sad but so wonderful at the same time . IM SO SCARED . BUT IM FUCKIN PISSED AT THE SAME TIME , HOW DID I LET MYSELF BECOME A FUCKING JUNKIE. im in the fight of my life for my life its “D-DAY” GENTLEMEN AND LADIES. TIME TO GET TO IT. and like i heard a man say one time i know i have another relapse in me but i dont know if i have another recovery in me so the time is NOW. I HOPE I WILL SEE YALL ON THE OTHER SIDE. MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL
Jerry,
As fucked as it may seem and with your thinking… This is exactly what my mentality was and I fucking walked from this whole ordeal along time ago. Keep this attitude you have, and yes Jerry…. Fight it till the end, FUCKING handle it and get thru it. You’re pissed, you’re fucking FED UP… Take that aggression out on the issues at hand and hold on to that anger. You will and can fucking beat this thing! Beat it, don’t let it beat you and never give up!
subs dont even work for me i still have severe withdrawel even when taking it now do to my tolerance level i have used it in the last three days just trying to prepare myself for the fight ahead but i have just drained what energy i did have built up for this battle now i dont know if my body can handle the real fight ahead this is the scariest shit ive ever been though PLEASE DONT EVER GET AS FAR INTO THE THIS SHIT AS I DID THERE IS NOTHING AND NOONE THAT CAN HELP ME NOW BUT ME AND I MIGHT DIE TRYING THAT.
i dont know if anyone even looks at this at all anymore but we who are suffering are still out there. i feel like i am for real dying right now have been through withdrawel over 40 times maybe more but know its time but im afraid my body is much weaker and fragile then it was in the past plus i have a back injury causing me alot of pain i dont know how i am gonna get through this or even if ill make it at all
Hey, My husband is on day 4 of WD off suboxone after 6months. and 2 1/2 years in the methadone clinic. Nothing really bad yet. just diarrhea aches and not eating. sleeping good tho hope we skip all the bad stuff but i doubt it. i hope things will turn out well for us. The suboxone was great at first he acted normal again but just before the withfrawals he looked like he was buzzing after he would take it. Hope it turns out like ur situation. Will update next week or so.
I had no idea so many people were going through the same thing as I have. Almost all the post have described the experience of opiate dependence and suboxone treatment much like my own. This is a problem that cries out for readily available solutions and treatment. Finding suboxone is the first solution to opiate dependence and then dose reduction from the suboxone is the next step. It is better to stay on it a little longer with decreasing dosage than to discontinue it too soon and risk having to go back to hydro or oxy codone. There is withdrawal from suboxone but compared to the alternatives it is manageable. The main thing is to remember is “this too will pass”.
Well guys my story is I was on 20 rockys a day and began sniffing two bundles of herion a day. One day I just woke up a year and two months ago and said fuck this, my husband was using too so he got subs from his doc. I then started my own treatment of 8 mlg a day. Never relase thankful to that, problem with all this shit is now I have massive aniety and depression . When my day is good its great but when its not its really not. Just two weeks ago I just stopped I ex. No withdraws till day 14 sucks right. Whst to do now I have three young kids and cant affored to feel like shit.not to mention it was never rx to me
Mike,
Short and fucking simple. I have been and was in your exact situation. I was working on my laptop, forcing myself to work 5 days after I jumped so as I could stay afloat (cause I have my own business, there is no sick days). It was late, I couldn’t sleep, I was going fucking CRAZY, shitting, legs going nuts, ANXIETY….the word itself, as I’m sure you know does ZERO justification to WD anxiety. Isn’t it the fucking worst thing in the world.
Being that I was trying to keep myself financially afloat I finally fell asleep for a couple hours after taking a couple ambien and a xanax. Woke up the next morning (or really only a few hours later)…. My lap top was on the floor. First thing I thought was “OH FUCK, I hope my screen didn’t break”…. I have ZERO memory of what did happen that night…and I MEAN ZERO. I picked my laptop up and my LCD screen had a huge punch mark on it, yeah, it was done…. (I did fix it though…that has no bearing on this story really)…. My point is I understand where you are coming from. You just have to ride this out. The other option is you back to how you were and not only destroy yourself but also you family and you business by becoming what you are fighting not to be…a long term junky. If you have gone this far, FUCK IT, and I MEAN, FUCK THE PAST, get mad at yourself and tell yourself… “I am going to ride this out, how the fuck did I put myself into this situation (be it my fault or some X factor)…but I WILL get thru this, and never repeat this FUCKING NIGHTMARE AGAIN”!
Only advice I got for you and I hope it helps. Reality is a bitch but we have to face what we have to face. It worked for me. No 12 step bullshit, no fantasy land Easter bunny I had to bow down to… It’s up to us in the end in regards to the path we want to take. Once you’re free, you can be. Don’t buy into that fucking bullshit of “once an addict always an addict”…. FUCK THAT SHIT. New saying “Once you’ve got your shit together and go through the hell of opiate / pain med withdrawal, it’ll never happen again.
Best of luck,
Brian
SuboxoneTaper.com
question,
i jumped off 2-21-11 i did 42 straght hrs then took 2mg due to family crisis now it has been 5 full days off hell i have 0 desire for anything however sleep is impossable my legs are freeking out my head hurts and i have no consenstration my buisness is plummetting i am forcing and i mean forcing myself to exersise- eat-and go for 30 min walks
deppression and anxiety are high how much longer my kids are starting to really notice and are scared my wife is so sressed yet so suppotrtive her jaw is locking.in gods name someone tell me the deppression and exhaustion is normal also my skin on my elbows arms and shoulders are burning like sand paper but i will stay strong.god bless
Cody,
Great post and I’m glad to hear things are going well. Sorry to keep this short… One thing you mentioned that helped me out alot… I took alot of hot baths. I am a shower guy, but I would lay in the bath tub, and have it super hot….then when it cooled, I would drain it half way, then turn the hot water on again…. It did help when things got really shitty. Remember, don’t fucking look back. You’re over this, you got your husband, your son and remember the FUCKING hell you went thru. DONT EVER FORGET…this will keep you on track and eventually you’ll forget this ever happened (but with a safety net knowing you’ll never let it happen again).
Thanks again for your post,
Brian
info@suboxonetaper.com
Brian,
Of all the sites the
Skull and crossbone gave me a homebase I kept going back to. Don’t ask why as I’m a middleaged professional healthcare worker who was prescribed heavy doses of suboxone for over four years. Dates are really a blurr but about a year and a half ago I realized I am a space cadet who’s son sees it, lost contact with hobbies and friends, never finish what I start, and can barely make it thru the day. My life became reduced to work and feeling bad about myself for being sooooo stupid. I was clutching onto a wonderful but a married man who was the only one who knew about the sub. and my body was taking a toll. No exersize, no good food really, too much alchohol and still closet smoking to deal with anxiety. So I started to taper. From 24 to 1 6 to 8 and down from there. I was not on any schedule but went with how I felt. The depression and anxiety was the worst. As I tapered I had typical withdraw symptoms but felt that if I didn’t rid this shit from my body, I would never have a good life again. We finallly to 2mg and then to 1mg to .5 to .25 to crumbs. I am on day 5 and so far I am functioning and waiting for bomb to hit. Maybe I’ve survived the worst of it. Yes, I run to the bathroom in the morning, and some leg cramps but not terrible. My house is a mess and I’ve been in bed at 9:oo everynight after a glass of wine but sleeping for the most part. Lots of baths too. I can’t wait to return to my Doc’s office and give his the rite act as he only discouraged me everytime I mentioned going off. He would always cite the diabetic verbage he learned in the little class he had to take to ruin people’s lives. Anyway I am grateful I have not lost my job or my son, dog, or home thru this process. This victory if I can call it that compares to the huge accomplishments of my life. Right up there and I know the best is yet to come……Thanks
Beesage,
Nailed it! It is mental when it comes to the suboxone, though it still sucks…a way to to help the discomfort is to exercise. Make yourself feel pain, make yourself feel again. It makes your brain remember that it can produce it’s own natural pain killer. Thus, this will give you a kick in the ass. Read my suboxonetaper 101 article, I was punching snow, hard snow till my fists were bleeding (I was jogging, then I would stop and hit something, or push myself so hard it hurt)…. The thing is, I could then walk back to my pad and I was able to feel normal for an hour or so (this was during the worst of the shit at the beginning). It’s mental, but…it’s also mental when it comes to taking your time before you decide to just say “hey… I’m ready to do this solo”…
There is alot more to it of course but… good points here and by Beesage, but… you have to be mentally clear to deal with it mentally overall.
Brian
info@suboxonetaper.com
Beesage,
I am at day 20 from taking 16 mgs a day for 2 years and 4 months. I was getting really discouraged too from what I read on line. At about day 14 I started to feel that I was having anxiety and I read that people were having it and depression for months after stopping. You body only needs to go through so much to get it out and then the rest is mental. You really do just have to get up and out and do life. It is not going to get better sitting there. I went back to work on day 12 and just pushed and pushed for the first few days and now a big 8 days later I would rather be here than home. I was so ready to be done with suboxone and to want to do things in life. My body sucked bad for the first weeks but it only aches a little now and the more I do the better everything feels. I can not wait to run. I have also learned how much more I enjoy things. What day did you run? It is good to know that there are others out there that do stop it at a high dosage and make it through.
So it’s been 35 days since stopping my Suboxone, jumped off 24mg, it wasn’t easy, but wasn’t too hard either.
Just like to point out to people out there that the internet can give you some really negative ideas about just how gard it is to quit, it’s as hard as you want it to be, some sites I have been to people are talking about the discomfort of coming off 1-2 mgs..maybe so, everyone is different, my only advise is it is 99.9% in your head, if you knew what real pain was, coming off this stuff wouldn’t even come close, it’s mild to maybe moderate discomfort for a couple of weeks, longer if you don’t get out and excercise ect.
So there you go, someone that has spent many years on a range of full on opiates that has just simply had enough and found it quite barable to discontinue opiate use, I guess the message here is if your not ready to put it down you wont.period.you will convince yourself many times over why you can’t put this stuff down(99.9% mental) when you ARE ready you will find getting it out of your life very easy!
Btw I found the best high also, Running! the first 1-2 kms can be work, but after that it’s magic :)
2 1/2 mg’s of subox will keep anyone just fine for about 2 days.Then take 2 1/2 again for 1 day. Then 2 mg’s .Then keep it up,try to stay busy be goood to yourself’s and mostly ,, the 1/2′s you dont take throw away !!! be good to yourself’s.
Insperational story Brian!!
Well firstly, thanks for the site, sometimes surfing the web you intentionally search these sites(opiate succuss/failure ect) just so you know where you stand, and what you might expect, and if there are any kind of positive success stories, well it goes along way helping the “slaves of opiates” my nick name for being completely dependent on this Aweful stuff.
Just like everyone else I developed a habbit, living where i am (Australia) the proximity to asia is ..well they are our neighbours, so unfortunately you get heroin, it was a mixture of that and any type of pharma narcotic that would get me through that was controlling my life, so one day (i’m 33) approx 6 years ago i said NO, no more of this, with supportive family and friends(to a lesser degree) this nonsense will come to a stop, well i stopped and was at the methadone clinic 2-3 days later, physically(OMG) mentally there was no way i was going to put opiates down at that point in my life, so methadone was my drug(not of choice ) for about a year, then i decided to go to the other side of the country, and with that had this great idea..make a new life , and leave the whole methadone thing here, and move away..Bad choice..Just turned out i was on the other side of the country with a bad addiction, and an overdose that lead me to hospital, so it was there i was told about Suboxone, and i stayed on it for (now this sonds like a long time i know) 5 years give or take, at first it worked extreemly well, but then as i grew wiser, and started to really acknowledge the hatred i had for opiates, sometimes after dosing i would just feel sick, maybe it was a mental thing, my mind knew it was time to put this stuff down. Don’t get me wrong if you work properly with Suboxone it can work, you don’t it will work against you ( shooting up ect) but all i’m trying to say i suppose is everyone has there “point” if that’s the right word, that they get at when they say the reward is not worth the effort..and lets face it, Suboxone is not at all really worth what you have to go through//doctor visits/pharmacy/drug council ect, it’s Just making you feel NORMAL not even high, so why not cut out the Suboxone, wait some time and feel Normal by yourself, with the natural highs life can provide.
This is day 15 for me, and i stopped Suboxone at 24mg daily, i’m kinda supprised at that myself, supprised at how mentally addicted i was, i’m feeling the worst of it or felt the worst yesterday, the day before, and to a lessser extent today, i reALLY dont feel human at the moment, all my usually entertainment motorX, video games, going out, i haven’t done since i have stopped, it’s like a new attitude has come over me, don’t waste time playing games, it pointless ect, so i have been reading and keeping myself busy with other things that would usually not interest me, Things that are much more productive.
Let me go back to how i feel, well it took around 7 days before i started to feel uncomfortable, i was actually puzzeled, there have been times on Sub that i would miss a day and feel really anxious for the next hit, but i just went with it, i actually started feeling the worst 11days after when i was speaking with my sister, told her what was going on, and she said”I can’t belive it, you have stopped, YOU should be feeling Much worse” but i felt fine..but after her comment 2 HOURS later i started to feel like Crap, THIS drug is 99.9 mentAL, and that is what it all boils down to, most addicts hace an underlying problem, deppresion, anxiety, ect, and we kind of feel the warmth that dope provides to cushion us, but it does alot worse than that, it turnes us into fiends, and Does not cure the underlying problem, anyway i’m kinda getting bord typing ,, so i will leave it at that. just food for thought, THE NEXXT TIME AN OPIATE IS IN MY SYSTEM IT WILL BE WHEN I AM DYING AND IT WILL BE MORPHINE.
I’m curious if you got an answer Joe? I just finished my 7th day of one 8mg sub a day and wondering if I continue? I weaned myself off of 120mg a day oxycontine/IR pain program down to about 20-40 mg per day IR and got on the subs for an abroad trip. Coming back tomorrow and too the last sub today. Should I just get off now and will I have significant WD after one week.
I got 40 7.5mg vicodines and can use for final taper?
Please help I’m scared as shit.
Cornfused
@Marie-did you not read the front page of the site labeled “suboxone taper 101″ It will tell you EXACTLY what to expect.
I am on my 8th day off suboxone which i have been on for 5 months, before that 10 lortab 7.5 a day habit., i feel soooooo lazy and my legs cannot be still at night, most of the cold sweats have finally stopped, will i ever be normal again?, im so scared that this feeling will not go away, someone please respond and tell me what i should expect from hear on out, Thanks
Okay, you people are really freaking me out! I have been on subs for 6 months, most days one 8mg or less. I am on day 3, and to be honest, I feel fine. I actually got on them 6 months ago because I was sick of taking vicodin, and my regular doctor suggested for me to test this out to MANAGE MY PAIN while I was enduring PT for my back (he said if I stopped taking pain meds, my PT sessions and all time surrounding it would be horrible). Okay, I am an ex heroin addict, and had been clean from EVERYTHING for ten years, but after my injury, I couldn’t get out of bed at that point, so I had to take something. I had never been a pill-popper before. Well, after rambling, my point is…could it be that my detox won’t be AS bad as some because I was automatically on the lower dose, and only on for 6 mos? I can’t imagine this being anywhere near what its like to detox from a bundle of heroin a day…so maybe I am just okay because its not as bad as that. I’ll never forget what that felt like. Thanks.
Wendy-you probably won’t need hospitalization for suboxone withdrawal…it’s not that bad. I’ve never heard of anyone getting any really bad physical w.d. symptoms such as throwing up, sweating and seizures, nor did I have those symptoms. Just tough it out and stay busy!
I’m really sorry Wendy. I don’t know if your local hospital will help with that. I know that state run psych hospitals will sometimes admit detox patients. Checking yourself in somewhere might help. What state do you live in?
does anyone know if hospital would help me thru wd? no insurance. no money. dr that prescribed my suboxone will not see me without money. I am on day 3 and can not stand the anxiety!!!!!!!!
Well, to be honest Brian, these exact words from your post scare the shit out of me “”it was day 25 before I could think clearly without straining myself.”"
Man, that fucking sucks! I have been on suboxone over 3 years now and been relapse free and drug free the whole time! Life is great, I am finishing my degree this semester, got everything back plus some and now it is time for me to get off this stuff because it is starting to cause negative results in my life. I’m starting to obsess about suboxone, think about my dose most of the day and starting to run short at the end of the month, which is screwing up my serum levels! And I’ve just started a great internship a few months and am now basically forced to go without for a few weeks. Thinking about just staying off of it for good! Its not the wd’s that I am afraid of, it’s the not being able to concentrate at my new, great job and screwing it up because I’m out of the suboxone!!! So it’s starting to turn on me now! I dunno why I am writing this, just venting and scared shitless I guess!
I’m on day 40 with no subs. Yeah, I know, great. However, I still have no energy & no motivation. I do not crave any drugs & don’t want to go backwards, ever! Not sure if I’m depressed or still going through the “reboot” camp. Anybody else having this issue. Husband thinks maybe I need an antidepressent. I do not want any more pills. I’m going to try & push through. Mornings are the worst. I was on subs. for 2 & 1/2 years, so maybe I just need more time to soldier through. I feel so lazy. I’m starting to have alot of guilt about not getting things done & now the holidays are coming. I’m not ready for all of the hectic activities & shopping. Will I ever feel “normal” again?
Steph,
Thank you. Get thru this and don’t look back. Always remember, like I did, of how you are feeling and the hell you are going thru…after a few times it finally sunk in for me. I could not or would not go thru that again. Wish you the best.
Brian
I have been on suboxone for over 3 yrs. Prior to my decision to go on suboxone I stood on methadone lines, been in over 10 treatment centers but I just couldnt do it. Currently im on 3mgs down from 16, and I have to say it wasnt hard to do. I lost my sister suddenly last yr and I was numb and I just really wanted to get off this stuff. My life now bares no similarities to when I was a junkie, I seems like that part of my life was a long drawn out nightmare. Im scared to taper even more, I feel like I hit a wall. Im 33, and I want children and to get on with my life. Reading everyones posts gives me hope, I will do I slowly, but I will do it. Thanks everyone so much
Thank to everyone who posted
Brian,
Your posts and comments make me laugh and then want to cry because I feel like I’m reading something I just wrote myself. I’m at day 13 of no sub. It has been a tough journey as I was on it for 5 years, but I am seeing the light and I’m laughing and getting better every day. The anxiety is the biggest issue with me, but I’m pushing through. It’s good to read that even 2 1/2 years later you feel better now than ever. I like yourself wondered if people would like me off of sub, would I like me, would I work, but I’m starting to see a little glimmer of light. Thanks for all of your honesty!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been or better than 32 mg a day for about a year. I am down to 8 to 16 mg a day. On top of having almost the same symptoms of withdrawal from the chemotherapy I am on, it is a never ending nightmare! I am doing chemo to get rid of the Hep-C and I got about 3 months left, “it takes 48 weeks”.
The SUB doctors are just pill pushers and it is just a big money making thing. I have not met one doctor that was up on things and that really cared and I feel the FDA and the DEA should take a hard look at their suboxone training.
The first time I went through hell was when I moved and could not find a Sub doctor for 7 days (June 09). From Detroit to Goldsboro NC it was right into Mayberry RFD. There are like 3 Sub doctors here and now they are all maxed out. I fooled myself into thinking I was going to get on Subs to manage my pain. I did this after getting out of Brighton for detoxing from Vicodin and Soma. Last month Medicaid would not fill any more Subs without a prior authorization and my doctor would not change his diagnosis to say I needed them for narcotic addiction. I was getting them for free from ”Here To Help” but as long as I am on Medicaid they will not fill them. I am on disability and my Medicare will not kick in for 2 years and being on a fixed income forces me to choose between paying for Subs or taking care of my wife and 2 kids.
I am sick all the time anyway from my illnesses and the side effects of chemo, so it seems that my withdrawal symptoms are compounding. I started smoking pot to take the edge off, and it helps when you are tapering. I tried to smoke it while I was going cold turkey and it made the anxiety worse. I will not take any benzodiopines because of the hell I went through getting off of those back in 2003. I had to go into Brighton to get off of Xanax. I was in there for 2 weeks and after being out of there for a week, the PAWS kicked in. I did not know about PAWs and I thought I was losing my mind. It took a month for me to be able to function and it took a whole year to get normal. From what I am reading, people have not mentioned any PAWS from Suboxone.
I went from 32 mg plus a day and I am down to 16 mg in a week. Next week I am going down to 8 or lower. I know I can do it; I was able to make it through the Xanax PAWS. It is just harder now because of the chemotherapy I am on. “Interferon ribavirin”. , it compounds the withdrawal symptoms.
What we are all going through can be scientifically explained and it is a process of your brain repairing itself from brain damage. Tolerance, withdrawal and addiction are all descriptions of the dynamics of the damage. The brain has to get back to homeostasis (i.e. normal). The neuron-receptors that became plugged as a result of tolerance have to gain their territory back. Then you can enjoy a sun set or a bite of an apple.
Mike, When I started my whole taper process, all was cool financially. During the (long and drawn out pain in the ass process) I lost my insurance. I was so far down that I just said “fuck it and I’ll pay the extra money”. As I am sure you know, suboxone is fucking expensive if you dont have insurance. Dude, you got to survive and losing your job and insurance can really fuck things up. Might want to consider just staying on the sub till things get better financially. You don’t want to slip up, and then you’ll really be financially screwed. Just some advice bro….your call though.
Brian
Suboxone Taper
Hi i could really use some advice cuz im thinking about starting over with the whole tapering off process. i was taking two 8mg doses of suboxone a day for about sixteen months. i was feeling awesome. had a few relapses in between that time but other than that i’ve been clean as a whistle. three months ago i found out that my insurance was gonna get dropped so decided to try out the whole tapering thing. so he told me to take two 8′s a day for one day and on the next day take one and 3/4 the next day and so on a so forth for up to a month. to kinda see if i could trick my brain ya know. it did work “kinda” i mean it wasn’t too bad tho. i could still function at work but i noticed at the end of my work shift i’d start to get all anxious again. anyways to make a long story short the next month he tappered me down to takin a half of one every eight hours. its been terrible… every four to six hours i would need another dose so i’ve been taking three mg every six hours to see what it’ll do and its just terrible. should i just say screw the tappering down until i get layed off and go back to the two a day even tho its been three months. i hear its bettter to tapper off them when you get layed off cuz it’s definitely a bitch doin it durin work. i need this job lol. i felt like a million bucks on the two. if i woulda known suboxone would be this hard to come off, i wouldn’t have started the therapy. i’ve got my insurance back to. and see my doctor in a little less than two days. what should i do. thanks alot
Hi,
First I want to thank you so much for this post, I like the others above was only abble to find horror stories online about being depressed for the rest of your life, and the fist month of jumping and that was it…I began taking percs about 3 or 4 years ago today and slowly went to others heroin,oxis,etc. And about two years ago I started with suboxone from a doc. It isseptember 10th, 2010. And I am about a month from jumping off. I had relapsed twice sense I’ve been on suboxone trying to quit. I have a 4 year old son and a wonderful girlfriend who doesn’t understand this drug or what I’m going thru witch makes it very tough. I do have a very good counselor to help though, the other day I went about 30 hours without suboxone and it was a little tough while working but I was abble to handle it, almost decided to quit right then and there while still being on 2mgs of suboxone daily, then remembered the half life and thought this prob isn’t half of what I’m about to truly go through. So I decieded to stay on and Wien down slowly to have the best chance…I just need to know that eventually I will be happy again and able to live my life without being a prisoner to any drug. Wich is why this post helped me alot..you’ve givin me hope..I will try to post again to continue my story to help with ppl going through the same thing..again thankyou
I have been taking suboxone regularly for 7 days now in order to get off of oxycodone. I am at 1 mg a day and want to jump off by day 10(which is 2 more days of taking 1mg. Will I have any withdrawals?
The million dollar question- will I ever get off suboxone? That question plagued my mind every day. I was a slave to heroin, then I became a slave to suboxone. I would like to share my experience, and offer some hope to others who have the same issue. I was a heavy heroin user for 10 years. A few years back I had been on suboxone a couple times, but always went back to the dope. My parents sent me to rehab 3 times, but I always relapsed. Last November, I decided that I had enough. I wanted to reclaim my life once & for all–my way (no treatment centers & rehabs). I found a doctor who put me on 8mg 3 times a day– I felt great. The 1st month was a little rough– not because I was sick, I just needed to get over the fact that I wasn’t using needles anymore– but, I was so grateful to be feeling good that I didn’t really give a shit. I have been off suboxone for 3 weeks now– I am FREE. Each passing day, my energy is being restored a little at a time. I have never felt such a sense of success and accomplishment in my whole life– I NEVER thought that I’d ever be off suboxone– and now I am. My personal advice– take your time, but set a goal. I tapered so slowly– I dropped my dose by .25mg on schedule every 4 weeks (actually, I got off before I was supposed to). When I got down to2mg a day, I noticed that I would feel a little tired, restless and anxious the 1st 3 days or so, then I’d be okay– nothing terrible. Then after a month, I decided to jump off– big mistake. I thought I was okay– until the 3rd day– fuck my life– my legs wouldn’t stop, my stomach cramps killed me and I was exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I gave in and took 2mg of suboxone and I felt better. Then my mind got the better of me, thoughts of “will I have to be on this for the rest of my life?” were making me crazy. I didn’t want to rely on a substance to make me function– I began to panic. Then I decided that I would taper more slowly– 2 mg was too high a dose for me to stop suboxone, so I continued my taper as I had planned. I finally got down to .25mg daily (I was basically putting a dust particle under my tounge (trying to split a 1/4 of a 2mg pill in half isn’t easy). Finally– 3 weeks ago I decided to stop and I have never looked back. The first week was a little rough– but not nearly as bad as any detox that I had ever suffered. I was tired, a little restless at night (but I was able to sleep most of the night– what a miracle). Xanax helped, I only used 25 mg on the more restless nights (I used a total of 3 xanax the 1st week, and none after that. Anyway, the 1st week I felt a little crampy in my stomach and wasn’t too hungry, and I was tired– but it wasn’t that bad– I just kept telling myself that these were typical cold symptoms with a side of anxiety and that it would be over soon. I felt that I had come this far, and if I took suboxone I would just be starting over & prolonging the inevitable. I stayed as positive as my head would allow me, and took it a day at a time. Each day that I was suboxone free I would write “CLEAN” on my calandar proudly– it was like a little reward system. It felt good to see an accumulation of sevral “CLEAN” days (I never thought I’d ever have a single day without suboxone) I’m so grateful for suboxone because it allowed me to put the pieces of my life back together– I was learning to live “normally” again, so it served it’s purpose. But, I didn’t want to be controlled by a substance anymore either, so I did what worked for me, and today I don’t need suboxone to function. My advice– take your time, set a goal, and do your best to follow it. Your mind is very powerful, if you look at the situation with the glass half full it helps. I stayed positive, and stuck to my plan– even if it meant stupid notes on my calander and buying myself something that I wanted for a long time as a reward each week that I was suboxone free, and learning to meditate. The meditation helped ALOT. I needed to quiet my mind and my body– it helped. Best of luck to everyone– If I could do it anyone can.
I appreciate you taking the time to share yer experience and really lay it out there. I have read way too many horror-story posts by ppl in their first week of WD’s (with no follow-up post later), and ppl regurgitating all kinds of stuff about PAWS after long-term sub use. Hearing yer story has made me feel more hopeful. I know tho that experiences will vary and I do expect to pay somehow.
As seems to be the usual case, my Doctor thinks it shouldn’t be too big deal to taper down to nothing in the span of a few weeks. (I wonder how much the mind has to do with our WD’s tho in how the WD experience is as good or bad as we expect it to be?) I made a half-ass attempt to taper off a few months ago, but had some difficulty (Waaah!) around 3mg and so decided to go back up to 6mg. The time just wasn’t right. I’ve even looked into Ibogaine, but it doesn’t seem to be so good for a long-acting opiate like Sub.
I have been on sub for 3 years and started off at 24mg. I have made the decision to make another go at tapering down. I’m at 5mg now and plan on taking it real slow.
Thanks for posting 2 1/2 years later to let us kno what it was like for you.
To the above question: It’s really up to you, what you are mentally ready for. If you are ready to let go of the crutch then jump off and get it over with. Once you get that low, you can’t wean much more. And once I’d gotten myself that low, I felt like I was in a low state of withdrawal all the time…I actually went back up because it was driving me nuts. I wasn’t mentally ready at that time to jump off. It’s up to you when you are ready for the jump…eventually you have to just do it. Only you know when that time is…but the longer you are on suboxone the harder it seems to be to get off for good.
Thanks for sharing the info. I wish I had read something like this before Idecided I was sick of being a slave to suboxone. I had no idea how long the detox was going to drag on for. Suboxone was helpful because it kept me off painkillers (OC was my drug of choice…when I could find it…otherwise any opiate I could find). But the problem was that almost 3 years later I was still on suboxone. I had tried to detox off it twice & both times I went back to a dr. scared. Finally, I was just one day tired of it. I had just left my suboxone drs appointment where he had unexpectedly raised the already pricey appointments. And with a full script, I just decided I was sick of being a slave to it. So for the next 7 days, I writhed around with a bottle of suboxone next to the bed. My boyfriend (still on suboxone) thought I was nuts. But having it there made me feel more confident. I could stop it when necessary. The thing is….I had NO idea it was going to take much longer than 7 days to get through withdraws. The doctors have no clue!!!! I’d say on day 11 I finally started seeing a some light. I could finally focus & had a few positive thoughts…like I can do this. Day 21 I finally drove myself to the library, all by myself, and got on some forums to figure out what the helll had happened. It was reassuring to know what I was experiencing was normal. If I had known what to expect it would have been easier. It’s now day 33. My energy has finally come back. And I can think straight…pretty much through it. Still feel heavy in the morning and skin sensitivity is still there. But I don’t have to wake up every morning & take suboxone to get out of bed. I don’t have to be scared because I can’t afford the pricey medication or the even more pricey dr appointments.
OMG! I asked (and am still asking) myself the same questions you did. After taking it for three years, I did a slow taper. I’m in day 5 and feel so tired. My legs bother me some and I have no appetite, but the worst thing is the fatigue and lethargy. I have to go back to work in three weeks and I’m a little scared because I have a job that requires energy and creativity, none of which I have now.
However, I don’t regret taking suboxone. I had lost my job, and was on the verge of losing my children. With the help of a 12-Step program (yes, I know…many 12 steppers from on this but it worked for me) and suboxone I got my life back and was able to become a functional memeber of society again.
I want 2get off just can’t get the sense of normalcy I need HELP cuz iam more than 32mg at times & I don’t want to but I just can’t seem to stop so if you can help with any words of wisdom!thanks
Hi, I need some good advice. Seems like I keep getting drastically different answers. I have been on Suboxone for a month started at 8mg. I have dropped every three days to a week a half a dose. I’m at .5mg. Day three my stomach bothered me but no biggie. I’m due for another drop Wednesday. Do I drop to .25? Or just jump off?